As much as I'd love to say that I'm back in full force, graduating and ready to take on the world, the truth is, I'm really not.

I've entered my senior year feeling somewhat aloof, and not in that attractive, want to know more about her aloof. I mean out of touch with everything she's involved in aloof. Everything seems to be in limbo:

Education

Athleticism

Creativity

Spiritual Life

Family Life/Personal Relationships

That leaves very little to feel together about. I've been preoccupied for the last week or so as well. My Auntie Artist has been diagnosed with lung cancer, and it's in the late stages. Simply put, the chemo and radiation she's going through isn't to save her, but to prolong her life for a few more months.

This hit me really hard for multiple reasons. She's my favourite aunt for one (I think she's my mum's favourite too); my mother, Davis and I took a road trip with her through BC and into Alberta and had a blast. She inspired me to work towards architecture, in only a sideways approach that she could. Her commitment to her craft and how hard she worked to be able to do it full time continues to blow me away. She's a funky artist who captured my heart despite living on the other side of the country. It broke my heart that I only got to know her better recently, and in fact, I had planned a future focused on her being there and being part of it. I don't even know how much I can involve her in my present. I don't want her to feel like I'm trying to squeeze out a few moments with her in lieu of what's happened, because that's really not the truth.

I just want her to know that she has had an affect on my life, and for her to see that she's left a little bit of her in me. I think that would be important for both of us.

cuesavvy